liam's picture

Taking further cues from the last reel of the Blues Brothers (“Use of unnecessary violence has been approved”), I’d like to spend a little bit of time laying out a bit more of my own urban renewal plans for the city I love. The target of opportunity this time is the sleepy suburb of Camden in Sydney’s South-West.

It’s connected to the metropolis of Sydney only by the tenuous links of an electrified train line, a motorway, and the shame the father of the Prodigal Son must have felt halfway through the parable. There can be no instructive resolution here, though; I say we ought, like its more belligerent residents, to take matters into our own hands, and like the Chinese over Taiwan, keep the renegade province as isolated from the rest of the planet as is possible.

Some locals are threatening to take matters into their own hands if the 1,200-student school in Camden is approved by either the council or via appeal to the Land and Environment Court.
A group calling themselves the Public Affairs Education Committee organised last night’s meeting and had to shut the doors when the Camden Civic Centre reached full capacity.
Police formed a protection line in front of the civic centre’s front doors and had to calm a group of more than 200 people who were unable to get in.
One protester issued a stern warning to the Qu’ranic Society, which has lodged the $19 million development application.
“If it does get approved, every ragger that walks up the street is going to get smashed up the arse by about 30 Aussies,” he said.

Here’s my plan. Let’s go and borrow from our libraries a few copies of The Seven Pillars Of Wisdom and learn from the great student of the Near East, T.E. Lawrence. Cutting of the enemy’s railway links, with a bit of well-placed dynamite, just after Liverpool and East Hills Stations would isolate them fully, leaving them only with the motorway as an economic artery, and entirely at the mercy of our forces, who can strike anywhere. We can then march in secret across the cultural desert of the Sutherland Shire to take the fortified town centre of Glenfield.

Don’t thank me for the plan, dear readers. I am a river to my people.